I touch myself whenever I think about you. More specifically, I rub my temples because I get a headache because you’re awful.
The other day, I went for a walk to Tesco. Came over the bridge, Police car blazing towards me, 2 police jump out, screaming ‘GET ON THE FLOOR, GET DOWN NOW! Yeah, he’s wearing grey, it’s him!’ Put me in cuffs searched me, asked me where I came from, where I’m going, emptied my pockets all while face down on the freezing ground. Then I hear over the radio ‘No, not that bridge, the other one!’ Talk about wrong place at the wrong time wearing the wrong thing! Shit myself!
I put this on Facebook and got 165 likes. ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE.
I don’t think I can name 165 people.
I don’t remember learning the words to Bohemian Rhapsody, I think I just born knowing them